and we're back

back to blogging. back to processing things on "paper" and seeking responses.

and i went to the doctor this morning.

this morning i woke up really stiff and weak and even had an episode of spastic paralysis in that while i was eating breakfast, i leaned forward to get my coffee and after i leaned back on the sofa, my muscles were rigid, and i couldn't move. this hasn't happened in quite some time, and kelly even noticed how rigid my arm was; she could hardly move it. this is the opposite from my other episodes, which are flacid, and my limbs are easily moved and positioned comfortably. though the episode didn't last long, it was a strong enough sign for me to call in sick today, and go to the doctor.

fortunately, i pass by a rather large clinic on my way to work everyday, and i knew they accepted my insurance (provided by the government as part of my job!), so i called an made an immediate appointment with a general practicioner. i had been thinking of going to the doctor again, since it's been about a year and a half, and i haven't had any more tests or any other suggestions for possible diagnoses. the doctor this morning asked me why i came in, and i just told him about this morning as the last incident in a long list of episodes and syptoms dating back to five years ago almost exactly. he listened to me and kelly, as she went with me, for almost half an hour and was indignant that i had spent the last 5 years with just having symptoms treated and no diagnosis nor possible diagnosis. he didn't even touch me, but was pleased to listen. frankly, he said this is neuromuscular--something i've said from the very beginning--rather than just neurological or just muscular. he recognized that i had a lot of tests already, so he didn't even bother ordering a repeat of those now, but he did order some simple bloodwork to be done as a starting point.

the good thing, other than having a doctor who actually listened to me, is that we live in madrid with major health facilities and good insurance which will pay for a lot, if not all, of my bills. i didn't even pay a co-pay this morning! and on top of all the good that happened this morning, kelly was right there with me. she reminded me that i'm not in this alone, and that's super comforting.

well, i took an impromptu day off, which happened to correspond with kelly's, so we're both relaxing today. the weather is beautiful, and the colors on the trees in the city are beautiful, too. other than my more-than-usual weakness, it's been a good day so far. how's that for perspective?

hasta pronto.