03 December 2006

at home

even as i start this post, i'm listening to air1.com & they're playing the song 'drifter' by DecembeRadio. the chorus talks about drifting away and making his way back home to God.

we use this phrase a lot: make yourself at home, i'm going home, i feel at home here. i've been thinking about where i feel 'at home' as i've been in my own apartment for a few months and spend time with my parents on the weekends. last night, for example, i had dinner and watched a movie with them. so many times before, i would have just gone to my bedroom to go to bed. but last night, it dawned on me, probably really set in for the first time, that i don't live there anymore. my bedroom is not at their house anymore, and every time i go over there, the door is shut. of course, it's practical so as to keep the heat in the center of the house.

i've been thinking about where to call my home lately. and i don't know what God has in store for me. it's possible i could be anywhere next year; for now, it seems like i'll be in madrid, spain. but after we closed the seris on 'go' at church, something inside me has been stirring all the more. last night, i had a dream that i was about to go on a trip overseas, and i had to pack, but i couldn't find my passport. i always have this dream before i go on a trip, but i'm not planning on travelling internationally until next year. why would i have that dream the night before the church is made aware of specific ways to get involved in missions?

i like to think that i'm an easy-going guy--that i feel comfortable in most any place. but i really feel 'at home' overseas. whenever i've stepped off the plane in the madrid airport, i feel like i've come home. when i went to honduras this summer, i felt 'at home'. i feel just as 'at home' talking spanish as i do english. is this the start of something new? am i on the trek to a whole new direction in my life? steve mentioned that sometimes we don't act on what we would love to do, maybe even something prompted by the Spirit, because we don't have all the details worked out. well, maybe this is one of those things. i don't have any details worked out, but i'm praying about going to find my home.