trial run

so, i've been house-sitting this week. not too bad. had to call in sick to work on tuesday because i was paralyzed, but overall it's been good to see that i can make it on my own two feet. that's a good thing.

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mainstream God

i was in express men today looking at the t-shirts, and i noticed that though they were marketing a sort of artistic element for today's modern man, the slogans were fit for battle: strength in valor, not in arms; fight for justice and respect all mankind; valor is paramount, etc. these t-shirts struck me because you could see them as just an ordinary t-shirt, and think, 'cool, it's from express'. but it reenforces God's intent for man to seek him and to be strong and courageous, as we are made in his image.

i also thought of the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe, which i saw last weekend (apropos for good friday, no?), and i've been pondering two things: 1) how aslan decided to take edmund's place as a sacrifice, and 2) how peter developped into a leader. sure, he was the big brother looking out for his younger siblings, but he trusted in the power of aslan as true leader and redeemer of narnia. i need to watch that movie again and re-read the books (it's been about 15 years or so) to see the parallel of aslan to the Lion of Judah and his redeeming power.

i bought a necklace at the third day concert i went to two or three weeks ago, and it has the brittish lion logo on it. it reminds me of the power of the Lion of Judah and how he lives in my heart, saves me from my sins, and fights for the souls of the lost. it has made the Savior of the world more alive to me, especially this week after easter, and i feel more empowered. Jesus protects me and fights for me, yet--to draw the parallel back to narnia--he gives me the choice to follow him and to fight for what i, too, believe in.

sometimes following means not knowing where you're going...

new beginning

note: i posted this as a comment on another blog, and i liked it so much, i thought i should post it here, too.

in looking towards easter, i've been focusing more on what it means to be a christian & to follow Christ. for the first time ever, i've been concentrating on lent as a time of spiritual preparation for the celebration of easter. not because a religious leader told me to, nor to deny myself something, but to mentally & to spiritually examine how i've been living my life for him. it's been an enlightening 40 days.

ch-ch-changing

i just found out that good friends of mine who are serving as missionaries in spain are pregnant, april is finishing her master's over there, and then they are moving back to madrid next march! my brother was just here this week, and he & his wife are expecting their baby in early october, around the same time as my friends kelly & april. i'm one step closer to getting the job of teaching at georgia's governor's honors program this summer, and transitioning to teaching a french class this fall, too. on top of all that, i'm seriously contemplating placing membership at a new church, and i'm looking forward to more opportunities that can come from that.

i'm enjoying my place right now, and the changes are welcome. it's about 6 more weeks until the end of school, and it's been a good year for me to be on my own two feet in a certain sense. my twenties have been tumultuous so far, but, all in all, it's been a good ride.

i'm looking forward to going back to madrid in a couple of years, Lord willing, but in the meantime, i'm excited about more changes. i'm getting butterflies in my stomach now just thinking about them, but i wonder what else is in store.

la vie passe

voila une phrase que j'ai entendu d'une chanson de "le roi soleil": "la vie passe, et je voudrais la passer avec toi."

ce n'est pas belle cette phrase? le video est absolument incroyable; il me semble un theatre musical base sur la vie du roi soleil, evidemment. j'ai entendu que c'etait un theatre vraiement tres, tres bien fait. j'ai vu ce video-ci, et je voulais rappeler cette phrase.

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prayer

i attended services at a different church this past sunday where the preacher spoke about prayer and if prayer really works. it was eye-opening to me because he said that prayer was 'communication with God', not merely talking to him. by defining prayer as communication with him, that implies a give-and-take relationship. it opened my eyes to the fact that i've been trying to listen more to God without really giving him something to go on, ie my talking to him. my prayer life has developped into more of a play by play to God rather than asking him things and getting responses. i make this distinction because i think that i have listened too much, and in order for God to bless me, i must ask him for something!

in getting on my own two feet, i must ask him in faith for what i want to happen. i want to move, but God knows what i need when i need it, but i can still ask him for it. i want to work at ghp, but even though i know that & God knows that, why shouldn't i ask him for it? i want to have consistency of health--prefereably total healing--but why have i not asked him for it?

this last thing is something that i've struggled with for the past two years--why have i not specifically asked God to heal me? everyone else has. my prayer has been that i be content and that i rely on God in my times of weakness. are these conflicting prayers? is God getting mixed signals? i know that God can heal me, and i know that i want to be healed, but i realize that God has a plan, and i must abide by it. i must submit myself to his plan, but that doesn't mean i have to live a life dejected because i can't run anymore or maintain balance on my own. God has given me so much back from the initial onset, that i am grateful to him for what i have regained. i'm not 100%, but at a certain point, i'm content with that.