i feel like i just killed a patient. one of my students has recently been talking with me about his life and how he's trying to get things together for the beginning of his senior year this fall. he's told me he's had a lot of stress in his life, but what 16 year old guy doesn't? school, girls, family. but still, his seemed a little more than anyone else's.
he was in my classroom talking almost for an hour nonstop, and i felt like i was connecting with him, trying to mentor him. on monday afternoon, he was in the assistant principal's office just talking about his day when he had a psychotic episode, and it was bad. they had to call the ambulance, and he was taken to the hospital, but only after a couple of hours of trying to stabilize his blood pressure.
i pray he didn't take any drugs and that he doesn't have any mental illness. i don't know when i'll see shaun again, but i don't think it'll be any time soon. i feel like i lost one, like my patient died on the table, and i don't know why it was him or why now or why i feel so sad for him.
3 comments:
I had a similar experience with a girl I was an RA for, she didn't literally have a psychotic episode. But she made horrible, dangerous choices and was on a very destructive path. I felt like I had failed her because she didn't change when I wanted her to.
But a few days ago I got a call from her, and her life has totally changed. She's a different person, she believes in God again, and most of all I was reminded that God can fix anyone or anything no matter how much we think we've screwed it up.
Sometime - you have to wait a long time to see the fruits of your caring. We were foster parents for a young woman who was pregnant. Her life was a mess, her parents thought money fixed everything, I actually had to report her psychologist the licensing board for sexual molestation,...She did ok while she was with us but she once she left she would call me and tell me who she had slept with or how she was or was going to be plastered. After a while I realized that she wanted someone to care about her to consistently say, "Why would you do that, you know it's bad for you and it's wrong." Several years later (and after 1 failed marrige and another child) she finally got it together. She ended bup married to a youth minister, went back to school and is now a teacher, and still calls or even visits occasionally. She says that through all the messed up years she kept returning to the message of caring from us. Don't give up!
high school is a pretty intense time period. i hope it's kosher to post his name on here, but regardless, i'm sorry, Paul. I hope he gets better and that you find some peace from it. You were probably one of few things that were good in his life.
--Lindsay
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