different

the very thing that separated me from most of my friends in ga was that i spoke spanish. here in middlebury, however, that is now longer something different; rather, it's a common thing. i must, then, choose something else, something different that distinguishes me from others. is it the fact that i act? i sing? i dance? do i study harder than others? are my photos better than others'? i find that in a place where i seem to have lived so little in comparison to others, it's those times that i have to struggle to find my place.

due in part to finding my place of distinction, and due in part to listening to primarily salsa music, i've decided that i, too, want a name worthy of a salsa singer the likes of hector lavoe, marc anthony, celia cruz or even the great tito puente.

i've opted for chuchi rodriguez. that and my acting and singing and studying hard and taking good pics.

hasta luego,
~chuchi

passport

the appointment with the spanish conuslate went well. i arrived 30 mins early & they accepted my passport and papers. i'm supposed to return after august 14th to pick it up! after leaving middlebury at 4:30, i arrived in boston at 9 with about an hour's worth of morning traffic. but the winding country mountain roads at dawn were really pretty. i can't imagine what it would be like up here in the winter on those roads. since this was my second time at the consulate, i was afraid that there was a small chance i wouldn't have everything needed, but i did. of course i found this out after about 45 loooong minutes of waiting after the man at the window initially took my papers. those were probably the longest 45 minutes of my life. and i got back to the paking meter 3 blocks away from the consulate with 2 minutes to spare! God blessed me with a good trip, a successful appointment, and a beautiful afternoon to travel in. it all happened in a blur that when i got back to middlebury, it was like a dream. now, looking back at it a week later, i can hardly believe i did all that the way i did. but it's done & there's work to do here now.

hard work

it's hard work being a doctor.

well, ok, i'm not a doctor yet, and not even the kind that really has to do a lot of stuff like operate or set someone's bones or even prescribe the right cholesterol medicine that doesn't conflict with their high blood pressure and anemia medicines and cause liver damage, stroke, blindness, death or even sexual difficulties. but still, i've got plenty to read, have to write a mini-thesis this summer about my dissertation topic, memorize lines for the play i'm in, participate in choir practice, coordinate fiestas for the hall. i tell you, it's hard work. but very rewarding when it all comes together well. i know it's taken me a little while to get here, but i'm glad for the journey. God's taken me on an amazing journey & i still want to peek around the corner to see what's coming up next.

but for now, it's dinner time. enjoy it with someone.

so, this afternoon...

a transformer blew somewhere near the town of middlebury & the central vermont power service cut the power for the entire town of middlebury, the college, and one or two neighboring towns. so, were there we were, without lights, without electricity, and how were we going to eat dinner? by candlelight, of course! it was eery, but still, the middlebury spirit shone through & it was almost as if nothing had happened. it was kind of like camping for a while--we all gathered around and shared jokes and laughs, food and drinks. it was a great night before classes start tomorrow.

and we're back

wow-it's amazing how much has happened in the past month since my last post! let's see:
-i'm no longer a high school teacher
-one entire week was sponsered by netflix
-i saw my paternal grandfather, whom i haven't seen in about 5 years
-i moved out (initially) of my townhouse

within the past week:
-my bro, sis-in-law & niece, with their 'wonderdog' visited last week
-went to a wedding of good friends
-finished getting necessary papers for my student visa application
-had dinner at blue sky kitchen, yum
-i finished moving things out of my townhouse & got the deposit back (!)

this week:
-i flew to boston
-presented my passport and application for the student visa & was told i didn't have all the info despite following their instructions on the website (i'll have to go back)
-moved into my dorm room at middlebury college
-met with the director of the program about my course of study
-am getting to know old friends & making new ones

thanks to all who supported me over the past 4 years to help me get to where i am now. i followed God & he's led me back here to the mountains of vermont (of all places) to study spanish. what a ride it's been.

and don't worry, i'll blog more. ;)

ciao.

butterflies

it's the last week of the school year--exams, grades, graduation. a time for endings and beginnings. and butterflies. you know, those little things that you get in your stomach when you know something really big is about to happen, but you're not quite sure how you're going to react or what's going to happen and you can't quite remember how on earth you got into this situation to begin with.

well, the countdown to middlebury has unofficially begun, and now i have to arrange for visa applications, filling out forms, registering, and financial aid to get ready to go to spain. apparently, having to prepare for moving to another country means having a lot of butterflies, whereas going to vermont produces very few. i mean, hey, if you can go to another country, another state should be a breeze!

i just got two e-mails from the college--1) fill out certain 'pre-departure forms' and 2) the miami consulate may or may not process my visa application, so i may have to go somewhere else. yikes! it's just a hassle that i don't want to deal with.

pressing on.

countdown

so the countdown to my last working day is in 2 weeks--that's one more day of this week, five days of exams next week & three days of post-planning the week of memorial day. thankfully i have memorial day off. then, i have to pack up my stuff, clean my house & move things to get ready to go to vermont in july. it's becoming more and more of a reality that i'm leaving for the summer, though the big move in september hasn't hit yet. i guess one thing at a time. a week later, i've just gotten used to the fact that i no longer have class at asu on tues & thurs nights. yup, the exam's over, the grades are in, and i'm not a professor anymore...at least for the time being.

i went to visit some family in florida over the weekend--my grandparents, aunt & family. i haven't seen so many brown people since i went to honduras last summer. ;) it was great to see them and even better to eat such gooooood food! :D yeah, we all know how paulo likes goooood food. i got some good pics, which i'll post on my flickr site (when i have a minute). another good thing about visiting family on both sides now is that i've taken my place amongst the tribe. though i'm the oldest grandson/cousin on both sides, i haven't been seen as a kid in several years. one good thing about visiting my cousins in florida is that since they're younger, they now know me and have more memories of me. i'm trying to establish bonds that will still be there after the older generations have passed.

i'm looking towards the future, but keeping track of my steps.

choose an identity

i really must applaud blogger for their superhero skills. when you go to leave a comment on someone's blog, you must 'choose an identity', like you're suiting up with the x-men or joining the justice league or something. i guess i still have superheroes & saturday morning cartoons on the brain since i saw thundercats season one on dvd. sweet stuff.

'come with me if you want to live.' (thanks to the casper movie that came out, like, 10 years ago)

honestly!

so, i caught myself saying a phrase i NEVER thought i'd hear come out of my mouth: look how young! no, not while looking in the mirror. each time i come onto campus for class--yes, to teach these young faces--i've found myself aging ever so much more. i mean, i'm not, you know, old or anything--barely in the mid-20's. so what's the problem here? i guess it's because i have responsibility for those younger than me. or maybe it's this whole doctorate thing; i have to act mature because i'm going to be a doctor. well, one of the reasons i'm looking forward to going back to school is so i won't have so much responsibility! i'll be able to stay up all hours of the night. i'll be able to take naps or strolls in the parks in the afternoon or catch a coffee with some friends mid-morning. maybe that's what attracts me to academia. though it's hard work, there's time to enjoy life, too.

i guess i've gotten so caught up in being mature, i've forgotten what it's like to be young! help me stay young, my friends!

walking tall

i feel extra tall when i can't really my legs. i feel elongated, or almost like i'm floating. and i don't really know how i get from one step to the other. with my legs covered, it's curious that i have an intellectual knowledge of being upright, but i need the visual or tactile proof that i am. i'm conscious about the way i walk--it can be anything from a limp to throwing a leg in front to waddling to something off a runway. but all in all, they're my legs; it's my walk. life goes on, as must i.

thundercats! ho-o-o!

some friends lent me the thundercats season 1 dvd!! i am all about reliving of the childhood! ;) of course, i'm barely out of my own, but still, it's nice to have a bit of randomness childhood-ness. i'm not going to say silliness because the thundercats tackle elements like justice, friendship, and good vs. evil. and, mummra is actually pretty scary. i can't believe i didn't have nightmares as a kid. but anyways, school's back in session from spring break, and it was wonderful doing a whole lot of nothing besides waking up late, watching movies, and enjoying the sunshine. ah, just 6 more weeks of school, and it's summertime!

as an update to my last post, i've been off of one medication for about 3 weeks now or so, and i've had little nerve pain, but a bit more noticeable joint pain. interesting how that works out. but, i've been functioning well. my body tends to do better anyhow in the warmer months. even though it's still several months away, i wonder how my body will respond to moving to spain and being in school again. well, i guess after working 50 hour weeks, just having a couple classes a day will be a breeze! ;)

my leg hurts

i don't what it is, but my leg has been hurting more over the past five days or so. sunday evening, i could hardly stand on it. sometimes, i don't like the fact that i appear so different, and then there are other times when i proudly display it. i think i'm somewhere in between right now. at least i can manage a limp all right. and i'm used to pain by now.

someone on campus intereviewed me about my experiences studying abroad and during the course of that, i mentioned that i became ill and moved back to the states. a few days later, she sent me an e-mail asking if i could expand on my illness. i tell ya, it took me a solid week to respond because when i started writing, it reminded me of how ill and compromised i really was. i forget about that most days. it was kind of scary to dig up those things and to think of what i went through at such a young age.

but, aside from the lows, i can see how God sustained me and has brought me through according to his glorious plan to be where he wants me to be. it's been an amazing journey, which is something i try to focus on more than my weakness. :)

swimming in the swamp

my grandmother used to tell us of the swamps that were by her house, and one day in particular she told us that her grandmother told her that one day, some kids were playing at the edge of the swamp. their ball entered just beyond the entrance of the swamp, and they looked at each other wondering if they dared go in or not. one boy, the oldest, went in after it, and soon after that he started shouting and screaming for the others to help him. when they did rush in, they found him laughing next to a cyprus tree, his feet dangling in the water enjoying the coolness. when the other boys saw how their leader was all right, they all jumped in, but after a few minutes, they felt very sluggish and their feet kept getting caught in vines and branches. soon every one of them got too tired to fight any more and they all drowned. years later, the village people said that you could hear some of their voices at night, crying out for help.

well, even though i made that all up, i know it's been a month since i last blogged--that's right, just before my b-day, which was spectacular!! it's great to have a week-long b-day, no? i've just been swamped after that. it's crazy! but in a week, i start my spring break, and i'm really looking forward to that! but for now, i must away to class. i'll post again soon.

happy pre-day

it's the annual birthday review! in the past year, i've:
-started a blog
-reconnected with friends via facebook
-took a summer off and got paid for it!
-went to honduras & had a great time
-started my second year of teaching
-started going to a new church
-moved out on my own
-have had to use my crutches less & less

as you see, there are a lot of new starts, and i'm glad for that. it's kind of weird to look back at my life and see how i've changed since college. i saw my undergrad id the other day as i was cleaning, and it took me back to all the hopes & dreams, the wide-eyed innocence and that hot friday when i locked my keys in my car the day of freshmen orientation. :)

a lot has happened in the years since that august friday, and sometimes i try to hide those changes so much that it hurts. i mean really hurts. but all in all, i rest in the fact that i'm not doing life alone & that God is in control. i just look for the times when i can be used as his instrument.

in other news, and a happy pre-day gift is that shaun came back to school today looking rested and relieved!! thanks to all who prayed for him (and me) this past week. please keep praying for us both as the school year draws to a close. 12 more weeks!

i'm looking forward to chocolate cake over the next four days! happy b-day to me!

if i were a doctor

i feel like i just killed a patient. one of my students has recently been talking with me about his life and how he's trying to get things together for the beginning of his senior year this fall. he's told me he's had a lot of stress in his life, but what 16 year old guy doesn't? school, girls, family. but still, his seemed a little more than anyone else's.

he was in my classroom talking almost for an hour nonstop, and i felt like i was connecting with him, trying to mentor him. on monday afternoon, he was in the assistant principal's office just talking about his day when he had a psychotic episode, and it was bad. they had to call the ambulance, and he was taken to the hospital, but only after a couple of hours of trying to stabilize his blood pressure.

i pray he didn't take any drugs and that he doesn't have any mental illness. i don't know when i'll see shaun again, but i don't think it'll be any time soon. i feel like i lost one, like my patient died on the table, and i don't know why it was him or why now or why i feel so sad for him.

gosh!

i finished my french exam in an hour, had the phone interview (i got to call canada; how fun!), and am awaiting official paper accepting me into the program. now i have to do my taxes, apply for financial aid, and get ready for my birthday. i tell you, during the month of january as we've been talking about 'simplify', it seems my life has only gotten more hectic. when will the madness stop?! but, i did do well on my exam, so i'm happy.

besides, there's a professor liger in the office next to mine on campus, so that makes me smile. though it is a shared office...and no, not with professor tigon.

please, grow up.

well, i'm trying

i finished up my essays for the french exam and when i go to take it, i'm about 10 questions in when internet explorer just shuts down for no reason! now i have to wait and have the exam reset so i can take it again just as spots are filling up for the program! well, i'm frustrated, but more confident because the first few questions i answered were things i had just taught my students last week. :) so that's a good feeling.

just tell that to the pit in my stomach.

continuously continuing to continue

'who among you, if your son asks for bread would give him a scone?' this spiritually enlightening question brought to you by my brother who views english pastry worthy of insertion into the holy scriptures.

i'm working on two essays in preparation to take the entrance exam for the french school at middlebury college. it's a bit rough--not the actual essay-writing process, but the fact that this half determines my fate for next year. yes, i haven't written an essay in two years, but surely it's like riding a bike. and i've enjoyed getting back into it, actually, the nerd that i am. but i just have so much else to do for my jobs including making lesson plans and quizzes, then grading them, plus meetings and extra classes all balanced around my relationship with God and the church.

i promise, i'm trying to simplify! it's just that i feel like (my cousin) vinny waiting to see what else i need to put on top of my pile.

who knew i could reference brittish pastry, education, and a movie allusion all in one post? they gotta let me in for that!

choices

why does it seem that choices have to be so final? it seems to me that every choice i make has an eternal consequence: if i don't go grocery shopping today, i won't have milk for my cereal tomorrow; if i choose to live here, then i must live in said place for the rest of my life; if i have a routine, then i must stick to that routine because that's what grown-ups do--they stick to routines, they make choices, and they live with the results of those choices for the REST of their lives.

i've got the gypsy spirit moving again, and i feel restless because i'm planning on another big move. it's kind of hard to believe that i've been here, settled, for three years now already. with so many others around me settling down into the newness of life--marriage, jobs, kids--i feel left out at times because i have none of those things. in fact, i'm about to leave everything behind and chase a dream. and it's that choice that has me feeling like i'm leaving everything behind forever, and i may have lost my chance at those things.

i read things about people my age traveling around the world or writing books or going on roadtrips, and that appeals to me so much, but i know there's a choice to be made, which involves the big green: $$$. what's the tradeoff between being where i am and being content wherever i am, knowing i have to live with that choice?

i tell ya

if you want good birth control, be a teacher. i say that half in jest because i only have these kids one hour a day. what would i do if i had to LIVE with them? this makes me wonder what i was like as a teenager and going through all the drama that is high school. how much drama did i have? then i think about how much drama i have in my life now--what do i have to study tonight in preparation for tomorrow, what am i going to do this weekend and with whom? hmm, maybe it's not so different.

i blew up at a class today because i was frustrated that my bright students--they really are great--weren't paying attention; instead they were talking about something else that wasn't about the lesson. at times like these, i wonder if i get upset truly because they are not paying attention to the lesson or if they're not paying attention to ME.

i realize that education can make someone egocentric. but just think about it: 25-30 people are supposed to sit at my feet and hang on my every word in order to gain knowledge that will deepen their understanding of the world around them which contributes to their being better citizens, which will, therefore, cause them to work for the good of all mankind. it all starts with ME!

i tell ya, i'm tired. and 'ugly betty' is about to come on.